Emotionally attached….I don’t think so

I’m sure living in the realm of being emotionally unattached to outcomes has to be rewarding. I’m learning this very important lesson from my dogs. They have mastered this art and I admire them for it.

I think one of the hardest things for us to undertake as people is letting go of emotional attachment. I can’t begin to tell you how often I have been robbed personally because I didn’t want the run the risk of facing either rejection or ridicule.

The emotional attachment to a result stops us dead in our tracks before we even get going. Why do you think this happens? What is it that we fear? For me it’s always ego based. If I look at it long and hard enough that’s what it’s really all about. My fragile ego. My oh so important self. I’m reluctant to simply tell my story, or share something I think is great for fear my audience will think less of me. A fear that I will be ridiculed, and made fun of behind my back. Heck run the risk of being made fun of right to my face.

The more I experience and hang out with my dogs the more wondrous they become. They have this ability to make their way to my side and nudge my arm or hand with their snouts to position it along either their necks or their backs. They do this because they know that I’ll rub or scratch them.

They have zero concern who else is in the room, whether i’m working at my desk, sitting talking to my wife, pacing while on the phone speaking to someone. They don’t mind where my focus is, or what i’m busy with. Up they come and strategically nudge, nudge nudge. Depending on what i’m doing, I’ll either shoo them away,  push them away, ignore them or even sometimes growl. After all i’m the Alpha <—–pure ego here!

two dogs sleepingThey leave, but never go too far. They keep a constant watch, and as soon as my energy switches to read nonchalance, guess who’s back to strategically nudge, nudge, nudging? You guessed it….the dogs. It doesn’t matter how many times their actions solicit a rebuttal or rejection, they return with a never ending desire to have that itch scratched by me or my wife.

They don’t get offended, or hurt, or feel rejected in the least. They sit and watch and as they read the energy in the room, in my body language, in the ending of a phone conversation or a gaze quickly directed towards them, the game is on and they know eventually the scratch is coming.

You see they make it about what’s best for all involved. They know that when I begin to pet them, their sense of belonging is strengthened, my stress begins to dissipate as I mindlessly stroke and scratch them. They understand that not getting what they set out experience on the first try doesn’t mean it isn’t coming, because they know it is.

And so it can be with us, we don’t need to take everything so personally because i’m learning that being told no, doesn’t mean no forever it simply means that right now doesn’t work. Creating space and time for everyone involved works wonders. Because things change on every front and they change all the time, so get ready to Nudge Nudge Nudge. If you can be persistent without being attached, it will work out for all involved.

Don Lachance
Have a great day….unless you have other plans.

 

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