More than words…

You said it. Did you really mean it? Did you choose the right words? When people are speaking do you simply hear or are you listening?

I was sitting quietly in the Studio this morning indulging in cherished time with my best friend. It’s kind of our morning ritual. Yep, you got it, planning my day and finding out how our “yesterday’s” unfolded.

My 90 year old Father-in-Law came into the living room to ask my wife a question. I sometimes cringe at the things that come out of his mouth because he doesn’t have very good filters. I’m constantly seeking clarity when he asks or says things. I don’t think he intentionally means harm, but some of the things that leave his mouth often come right from grey matter and not from his heart.

It just got me thinking about “My Words”.  Are they always clear to people who are listening to me? Do I take the time to think about the collection of words that form the sentence that I often want to rapidly spew? I know in my case my head or mind works way faster than my heart does. I also realize that when delivered from my Grey Matter they aren’t always filtered. I’m in a hurry to make a point, or seek an answer, in a rush to just be heard sometimes.

I’m working at really understanding the meaning of my words. I’m working at letting them come from my heart as opposed to my head. It’s the least I can do for my audience. I seek clarity constantly from others, so why would I not want to hold myself accountable to the same standard. This post is a direct result of the chastising I was subjected to this morning when I sought clarity and was quick to re-direct my Father-in-Law. He couldn’t speak quickly enough to point out that out of all the people he speaks to, i’m the only one who analyzes what he says. A part of me was thrilled, because from my perspective seeking clarity is a good thing, but at the same time I was sad that no one in his circle of friends ever seeks clarity around some of the things he says. Are they listening?

I want to be known as a person who listens. Not just for the lull in the conversation so I can then begin to speak and share my exciting stories, but listening more intently in order to understand where the words are coming from and why the words were chosen? I ofen find that more is spoken in the things that aren’t said, but that’s a post for another day.

So to all of you who have ever been in conversation with me, I apologize, if I seemed rude by seeking clarity and asking for explanations, and for those of you who have ever been hurt by my choice of words I seek forgiveness. I’ll get better at both ends because it’s a journey i’m on. I’ll be a little more disciplined in making sure that the things I think about and want to speak are at least filtered through my heart to remove any barbs or pointy prickly ends. And lastly when I do share or speak and you aren’t sure about the intent, please seek clarity, I recognize right away and I love it.

Don Lachance
Have a great day…unless you have other plans.


  1. Barb Davis

    Great post!!! ….don’t remove all the barb’s;) xo

  2. You are the only Barb I’d keep. 🙂

  3. I often catch myself running off at the mouth, I am fortunate to have friends that hold me accountable to my word. They are not afraid to tell me when I have spoken out of turn. I am grateful for this because they help me become a better person. I know I’m not perfect, and that’s okay! Its also okay that you’re not perfect Don, I think you are great!

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