If all we want as people is to connect, and the things that keep us from connecting are left up to us to understand….then where do we begin our search to remove some of the barriers that keep us from this base need?
I believe that the search needs to take place internally. Do you live your life in the light? What I mean by that is, do you look into the dark places that all of us have, and root around to get to the secrets that often hold us back? I think Trust needs to be experienced with “Self” before it can be experienced with others. I’m going through a bit of an emotional and disciplined exercise these days and it all involves my Mirror!
The question is often, do I trust the person who’s looking back at me? I ask that because i’m a master at lying to myself. I think we all are. It’s somewhat of a safety zone for us. It keeps us from really digging into some of the things we need to admit in order to move forward in integrity. I have learned over the past while that a lot of it comes down to the things I look for when I’m gazing into the mirror. You see it’s easy to see the flaws and the things we don’t like because we make them the focal point. That’s the safe place, why would anyone want to spend time with me? Do you really think you have any value to offer others? Look at the mess you’ve made of your life. The thoughts go on and on and create a space that impedes us from moving forward, from taking risks, from being who we really are. It’s safe there, no responsibility, no pain, no growth? We try and dress it up as a place of serenity, but it’s really a place of extreme turmoil.
Begin instead by trying to understand that the very things that attract you to others are things that exist in some measure inside of you. Not to the degree you need or want them but they do exist. What a great start to mirror gazing. Now you’re looking for the things that have value, the things that are budding character traits that others will find comfort in. Yes they might be hidden or covered by something you view as an obstruction but being honest with yourself and moving the obstacle out of the way will benefit not only you but will free that gift up for you to share with others.
If you seek to trust others, trust exists in you.
If you seek honesty from others, honesty exists in you.
If you seek clarity from others, clarity exists in you.
If you seek understanding from others, understanding exists in you.
If you seek guidance from others, then guidance exists in you.
If you seek love from others, then love exists in you.
You get my point. Begin to take a fearless moral inventory of the things you are seeking and understand that, being honest about that is a key to trusting the great things you have to offer others. If you are seeking it, it’s because it exists in you. Not to the measure that you are quite comfortable with but you will be on the road to owning more and more of it. The more you can acknowledge, the more you get to accept. The more you accept the more responsibility you take on. The more responsibility you take on the more growth you experience, the more growth you experience, the more equipped you are to give it away to others.
So be fearless when you look into the mirror, and trust that you will begin to see and find all the things that others are seeking. They are the very things you seek. Trust that in yourself and you will create the space for others to step into a trust relationship with you, because at this point it’s about what you have to offer them and not what they have to offer you.
When others know you have their best interest at heart, you have established a safe and solid platform to enjoy the trust that you set out to offer and enjoy. The more you trust your gifts and your offerings, the more you will be able to glean from others. Make your life a reciprocal journey, but make it one that has order, it has to be Give and Take, in that very order. The more you trust yourself, the more you will have to give to others. The more you give to others, the more space you have to receive.
Have a great day…unless you have other plans.